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I Hate the People that Love Me​.​.​.​and They Hate Me

by Accusing Kyle

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1.
Chris wrote lyrics on his arm to take him back to a better place in time, where things always seemed to go so well Little did he realize, I was there, I was waiting and I caught him by surprise, On my way to this hotel. Well I can't breathe, and I am so tired of everything inside this old house I just want it to burn, yeah I'll burn it to the ground. Well I can't think. Immaturity still plagues me, guess I'll have another drink of wine, White wine. I hit every red light on the way, back to our old place, It gave me time to think. It's a long way to go to get stood up, and no amount of road or jealousy can cure this general lack of empathy. If I'm being honest, the future freaks me out, and I've seen better days. And while we're being honest, I feel like giving up, but it's just one of those days.
2.
Dogs in Cars 04:37
Another one for the mold, you're the cause of this, you're the common cold. So why would you ask me to stay if I'm stuck forever anyway? I did my time, It left a tattoo on my mind, of that night when you, finally crossed the line. Separated from, the guilt of what you've done. I've finally found my place, It's with my back against the wall, you hold me down, you never had my back at all, you hold me down, and yet my feet barely touch the ground. Step back and fall in line, it's a bitter end to a great decline, a chance at joy in a crowded room, is all I ever really knew. I wanna be as happy as a dog in a car, but you hold me down.
3.
Simple machines, in my mind, Sinful dreams, I can't hide. If you'd asked me before I'd have said all we need is time, and if we never saw this place again well that would be just fine. Cause it's the calmness that erupts, just before we go down. It's that sinking feeling that I get every time you're around. I just needed someone to save, a good deed that I could casually toss away, and if I've never made a mistake, then why am I here, by your door? Those times at the lake, are among my favorite mistakes. And I'd rather swim than drown but I'm up, for anything, and at least if I go down, I'll go down, believing. In the calmness that erupts, just before we go down. In that sinking feeling that I get, every time you're around. I just needed someone to save, a good deed that I could casually toss away, and if I've never made a mistake, then why am I here, by your door? Open up, because I've got something I need to say.
4.
How long have I held this grudge? By now, it's probably a record. There's no point in trying to let it go, cause with time we'll just wind up here again. And all the while a fading smile, and all the pills I take can't shake, this imagined headache. So pull me in just to cut me down, when I'm alone depression sticks around and it pulls me closer. And it pulls me closer to the edge, and I think I'm falling. My lungs are filling up with antifreeze and water, and I think I'm drowning. Cause I've crawled into a hole that I may never leave, so it's home sweet home for now. and if I were you and you were me I'd toss your body in the sea and be done with you for good. But I guess that's why you're a better friend than me.
5.
1st Pre-Chorus: I've been trying to fix myself, but I've got a choice between a bullet and a razor blade. Chorus: Maybe I've been wasting all your time, Maybe we've been wasting our whole lives, wouldn't that be nice? Maybe I've thought this out too much, Maybe you're just another crutch, to break my fall. But I can't wait, No I can't wait, To be alright again. 2nd Pre-Chorus: And I've been working on the faults we've made in these four walls, before they crumble down around me.
6.
Better 03:37
This tattered shape I'm in, burns away my innocence, and while I have you to thank, I only have myself to blame. And I've found my place, It's far away, from you. A final breath, stolen by this undeserving chest. The last in a long line, of failed attempts to convince myself that I'll be fine. And I've been here before, in dreams and in countless fucked up fantasies. Where the urge to jump takes me, and I wind up another stain on the shores of Lake Champlain. Starting over again, for what must be the thousandth time. and if I really learned from my mistakes you'd think that I'd know better now. Saturday, sad today. I'll take the fall, the blame and all, away from you. And I think it's gonna be a while, until I get better.
7.
When going back feels like giving up, It's time to say goodnight. It's time to say I'm sorry for, the way that I was, the way I have always been, It's gotta happen sometime, It's gotta happen someplace, so why not here? why not now? But why?

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released September 19, 2014

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Accusing Kyle Springfield, Virginia

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